Just Kind of Practicing Life

Soooo, I was in a rush to get old and now I wish I could turn around and run full speed back to my younger self and say "sit your ass down!" Man, LISTEN! Life is moving and going on and I feel like even though I'll be 43 in just a couple of weeks, I haven't quite gotten a grip on how to do life yet. I liken it to being an ant navigating through an endless ball of yarn. There are immeasurable twists and turns and dips and swirls and ultimately I feel like I'm going in circles! Is it just me? I know my mind doesn't work like the average bear. I hibernate when I should be forging and I nurture when I should attack...You might get that, you might not, but the whole point I'm making is I don't know what the hell I'm doing. LOL! Maybe that's not funny at all, but what else do you do but laugh when crying is not an option? You just roll with it, like everything else that's completely out of your control. For example, I recently found out that I have ADHD. There is a blog-worthy journey of navigating that crazy house of smoke and mirrors. It was a relief to know I'm not crazy and my brain is just wired weirdly, but the obstacle is conquering, or at the very least, managing it. I'm getting it under control though. I'm learning to pace myself, write things down, and create manageable schedules. I'm learning to drive my ship vs just thrashing wildly in this sea of life being tossed helplessly and being proactive about keeping water off my boat vs panicking when I start to sink. I guess in year 43, I'll graduate from practicing to doing. I'm tired of surviving. I'm ready to live.